WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT....

And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:   6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he/she falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:  Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:   There is not enough time to get everything done. 

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:   The term comes with a 10% discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:   Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:   They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:   NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:   Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:   The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:   If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer :  He is too polite to tell the whole truth.  


My favorite one: 

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Mon to Fri. Nothing, and on Sat & Sun I rest!