Some chemistry jokes....
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"To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up." submitted by a 5th grader via Darrilyn Fraser (79)
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One atom talking to another, "I think I lost an electron!". "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" unknown source
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MOLE JOKES from http://www.moleday.org/htdocs/Molejokes.html
Q:
What did Avogadro have on his pancakes?
A:
Molasses
Q:
What does Avogadro do when he wants to go to town?
A:
He jumps in his Auto-mole-bile
Q:
How would you have described Avogadro's room while he was a teenager?
A:
A Molar mess
Q:
What is Avogadro's favorite kind of music?
A:
Rock & Mole.
Q:
What do you use to flatten, hot asphalt?
A:
A steam-Moler
Q:
How did Avogadro get through the desert?
A:
He rode on a camole
Q:
What are school holidays for mole 'students?
A:
Mole Day, October 23 and Mole-oween
Q:
What line from Shakespeare do high school moles have to memorize?
A:
"To mole or not to mole this is the question.
Q:
What sugar do moles prefer?
A: Mole-tose
Q:
Why does Avogadro like blue cheese?
A:
Because it's moledy.
Q:
What element do moles love to study in chemistry?
A:
Molybdenum
Q:
What did Avogadro's pet snake do in shedding season?
A:
Molted
Q:
What kind of make-up does the mole wear on his eyelashes?
A:
Molescara
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A math joke from Linda Winke ('84).
At
New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public
school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a
ruler, a protractor, a set square and a calculator. Authorities believe he
is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement and he is being charged with
carrying weapons of math instruction.
A second version from Kelly Cross ('85).
At
New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public
school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a
ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by
the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire
average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a
search of absolute value. They use secret code names like "x" and
"y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns", but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with
coordinates in every country."
"As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to every
triangle," Ashcroft declared.
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us
more fingers and toes."